over the weekend, we celebrated a friend’s birthday with a proper italian dinner- think lady and the tramp, under the tuscan sun, the godfather… courtney told me to leave the candelabra at home. we ordered pasta, pizza and sfincione from felix and baked a cake for our performance of “happy birthday”. it was the best way to celebrate… with food, company and my terrible italian accent. buon compleanno dana!

ollie, checking on the pappardelle.


happy world baking day! for me, baking means spending quality time with my sister. i’m not a natural born baker… it takes effort, patience and then more patience. i really only enjoy baking when i’m baking with my sister. it’s so special to be able to share such sweet memories over the whisking, piping, burning and tasting of all of our creations. to me, she will always be my Star Baker.


back in november, before social distancing, quarantine and zoom became a regular part of my vocabulary, i almost spent a stupid amount of money bought a last minute plane ticket to san francisco to see jenny slate on tour (emphasis on the almost). i didn’t buy the plane ticket. i remember it so clearly. mercury was in retrograde… “how could you remember that” you ask? because on that day i had locked myself out of my bathroom when up until that point, i had no idea my bathroom even had a lock! but of course, on a morning when i had hit snooze one too many times and needed to get ready fast, i woke up to a locked bathroom *RETROGRADE*. it was on that same day that i had seen that funny gal, jenny slate was going to be stopping in san fran for her book tour and she had a few tickets left for her show that coming weekend… on impulse, i thought to myself “buy the ticket, book the travel and pack your bags.” but as my conscience would have it, i started second guessing myself. “it’s too much money. it’s too last minute. it’s only for one night.” and then i read this article on manrepeller.

“For you, Aries, the stars predict a month that enters with a bang. Venus in Sagittarius at the start of the month has you itching to get out of town. This is the time to embark on a grand adventure.”

A GRAND ADVENTURE. could this sign BE any more obvious?! so i scoured the internet for last minute deals on flights to san francisco. i texted a friend telling him that i might be coming to town and to clear his calendar because i’ll be in san fran for one night and one night only! but then my conscience, my sweet, level headed, logical conscience told me to sleep on it and make a decision in the morning. so i did and when i woke up, my bathroom door was not locked and the flights to san fran unsold. i won’t bore you with the internal back and forth of “should i? i shouldn’t.” that i tortured myself with but you know how this ends, i went against my horoscope, i didn’t buy the plane ticket and i didn’t get to see jenny slate.

so why am i telling you this? because last night, i was supposed to see jenny slate live, at the largo. i had made plans with a friend, bought the tickets and waited patiently for our “girl’s night out” with jenny slate. if i’m being honest, i’m more upset about missing this than i am my own birthday! i don’t really know why i felt the need to write this… i think i just needed to vent or share the slight regret i’m feeling for not buying that DAMN PLANE TICKET. either way, i’ll be listeng to largo by fiona apple for the next few days to sulk.


it all started after i saw emma. autumn de wilde’s adaptation of emma had me swooning over pastels, manners and 19th century pin curls. after leaving the theater, i decided (while walking to the parking lot) that i was going to celebrate my birthday like a jane austen heroine… i was going to have an emma themed picnic in the park! there was to be tea, socializing and croquet! i was deep into planning this picnic (i bought the croquet set) when COVID-19 took over. as the precautions for this virus became essential, my birthday picnic would have to wait. so i put a pin in my pinterest board and began social distancing.

my vision…

this was going to be a birthday that i’d never forget. it would be the birthday i celebrated without my twin, the birthday where everyone had to stay 6 feet apart and the birthday where i couldn’t get toilet paper… so to make the most of my quarantined birthday, i asked some friends if they wanted to join me for a virtual tea party on my birthday. the plan was to get dressed up (to go nowhere), drink tea and socialize (virtually).

last sunday, i woke up to a picnic in my living room that my sister and brother-in-law had put together for my birthday. yes, i cried. they had stayed up all night baking and staging an emma themed picnic. the conroys had gifted me with a fortnum & mason picnic hamper filled with all the goodies to make for a proper picnic and tea party. my heart nearly exploded. i can’t begin to explain how grateful i am to everyone who made this birthday one that i would never forget, despite everything.

“it is such a happiness when good people get together- and they always do.”

Miss Bates
Emma, Volume 2, Chapter 3



happy new year!! new decade!! new beginnings!! speaking of which, we are in the midst of experiencing the beginning of a new era! a new era of art, television, technology, fashion, movies, music- is this what the 80’s felt like!?! it’s all very exciting… but as we move on to the 20’s (again) i’d like to reflect on this past decade that has brought so many great tunes into my life. now, if i listed all the songs that have had an impact on me in the last decade or even songs that were just my fuggin jaaammm, we might need another decade just to listen to it all. so i’ve listed some (i had to cut it down) of my favorite albums that i have played (and maybe overplayed) from this past decade. it was a brutal task that no one asked me to do but i enjoyed the walk down memory lane SO… without further ado, here are my favorite albums of the decade.



it’s christmas eve (can you believe it?!) which means santa will be coming soon! if you’re looking for a cookie recipe to wow the man in the red suit, look no further. i found this recipe on creme de la crumb and i’m obsessed! i’ve already made these hot chocolate cookies 3 times this holiday season! they are delicious and addicting so bake at your own risk! you can find the recipe here. happy holidays!




fall is here! and to celebrate i headed to the mountains with some friends to welcome my favorite season (and probably yours too) by taking part in one of fall’s most famous activities…apple picking! this was our first time going to an orchard to pick our very own apples and it was almost exactly how we imagined…almost…nothing says “fall” like 85 degree weather! what i would give to experience a proper changing of the seasons…i guess the grass really is greener on the other side?? despite the warm weather, we picked our apples, got some sun and lived out my l.l. bean catalog fantasy.



i seem to surround myself with tall people and for that i am thankful as i tried to use the fruit rake to pick some ripe apples that were a little out of my reach and nearly dislocated my shoulder… so thank you leo and adriana for making up for what i lack in height.

i snapped more pictures of apple picking than i did of actually picking any apples but i think it was more fun to see how excited everyone got over picking their “perfect” apple.  never have i seen someone more proud of their pick than courtney. it’s the little things in life.








podcasts! why did it take me so long to fall in love with podcasts?! while i was recovering after a medical procedure last year, i found myself exhausted by all my normal means of entertainment; television, music, movies, books… I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! bed rest had ruined everything i loved about staying at home. i couldn’t bear to watch another episode of house hunters international so i began browsing the podcasts app. i started with comedy bang! bang! aaannnnd had to turn it off immediately. i was still recovering and i couldn’t stop laughing at this podcast which was not good for me or my stitches so i turned to a more serious and conversational podcast that would make me and my stitches cry… (terrible, thanks for asking). since then, i’ve been avidly searching for and listening to podcasts, old and new! some of my favorites are listed below. would love to know what podcasts YOU love so send me your recs!

a24  podcast: conversations between the actors, writers and directors of some of a24’s newest (and in my opinion, best) projects. i’m a big fan of a24 so i was very excited to find out they had a podcast. i loved listening to these conversations between some of my favorite creatives in the industry.

and that’s why we drink: i love a good ghost story. they scare the shit out of me but i love them. this podcast has some GREAT stories but it’s not just about the paranormal. this podcast also delves into some true crime stories… warning: don’t listen to this podcast when you’re home alone…speaking from personal experience.

armchair expert: after listening to this podcast, it inspired me to want to have more conversations like the ones dax was having with his guests. just take the time and listen to this podcast you won’t regret it.

chelsea handler: life will be the death of me: i’ve always been a fan of chelsea handler but when i listened to her episode on the armchair expert podcast, my love and respect for her only grew. she’s funny, honest and emotional, what more could you ask for??

dirty john: reported and hosted by christopher goffard from the l.a. times, this podcast is one for the binge-ing.

jen gotch is ok sometimes: i follow jen on instagram (which is how i first learned about this podcast) and what started as lengthy instagram captions turned into lengthier insta-stories eventually became a 45 minute podcast. jen is courageously open about her day to day and sometimes lifelong struggles and with this podcast, i think she accomplished what she set out to do…make YOU feel less alone.

song exploder: as a music lover, i thoroughly enjoy listening to this podcast. each episode features an artist breaking down their song. they share the stories of what inspired them to write the song, how it was made, and give some insight to their process of recording.

story corps: “stories of the human heart. a candid, unscripted conversation between two people about what’s really important in life: love, loss, family, friendship.” i copied this right from their website as it perfectly describes what this podcast is about. when i listen to these episodes, a lot of the time i’m left in tears. the dialogue between the people telling these stories is so important and especially refreshing because these are just ordinary people very much like you and me.

terrible, thanks for asking: it’s okay to not be okay. this is something nora mcinerny welcomes and encourages as we listen to strangers talk about their pain, blush at their embarrassment and sometimes (most of the time) cry at their stories.

unstyled: christene and her guests talk about aalll of the things; life, work, love and they do it with styyyllle.

why won’t you date me?: this podcast never fails to make me laugh. nicole byer is unapologetically single and i (selfishly) hope she stays single forever because 1. i can relate 2. she’s a queen who DON’T NEED NO MAN!

the wine down: i like wine and i like comedians and this podcast is the perfect blend…



Monterey, California / 3-24-2019 / 35mm Pentax

THIS IS NOT A BREAKUP PLAYLIST! well, it can be if you want it to be, music is subjective and impacts everyone differently but that is not what it was intended to be. i’m a crier; i cry when i’m happy, sad, angry, inspired…i’m big into crying as a way to express myself but not all of these songs are “sad songs“. some of these songs are about love and life and expression. i find some of the lyrics in these songs to be so moving and beautiful that i can’t help but (you guessed it) cry. so, if you need a good cry, listen to this playlist.

you can cry to my playlist here.

  1. “orange” – big thief
  2. “chelsea” – phoebe bridgers
  3. “i saw you in a dream” – the japanese house
  4. “oblivions” – the national
  5. “geyser” – mitski
  6. “the joke” – brandi carlile
  7. “don’t know how to keep loving you” – julia jacklin
  8. “plastic” – moses sumney
  9. “version of me” – kimbra, dawn richard
  10. “say it” – maggie rogers
  11. “the dirt” – tor miller
  12. “since i left you” – joy crookes
  13. “body” – karen o



why does cutting off all of your hair feel so damn good? speaking from personal experience, i just recently took off 12 inches. the last time i had short hair was when i was a kid. my brother was blowing bubbles and accidentally spit his gum into my hair, so my dad cut it out and cut it (my hair) off. my dad, Bob, coincidentally was responsible for giving me my first “bob“! isn’t that cute?

everyone has their reasons for why they’re making the drastic cut; reeling from heartbreak, feeling misunderstood, protecting your family’s honor and saving your country. for me it was a fresh start. for some time now i had been in an unhealthy headspace. i was feeling lost, frustrated and uninspired which prevented me from wanting to go out or even confiding in anyone who tried to reach out (sorry Mom). i was not myself, my ego was fragile and my self-esteem bruised. when i thought i was starting to feel “okay” again, i had a meltdown. it happens to the best of us, right? some experience it in the privacy of their own home and some (me) experience it in the middle of a live show while at work… someone had made me feel small and that was enough to derail any sense of composure or rationality, so i cried wept. this person didn’t even KNOW me and they managed to make me feel smaller than i know myself to be.

all my insecurities were re-awakened. in the most random (and inconvenient) times, i would think about this person who made me feel small and it would make me tear up in anger. i was angry at this person for making me feel this way and angry at myself for allowing them to do so… so i sulked and i sulked HARD. i’d sit in my room feeling sorry for myself and do nothing about it. it’s hard to pull yourself out of that headspace when you aren’t fully aware that you’re in it (ain’t hindsight a bitch?!). this person probably didn’t spend another moment thinking about me (dick) but i couldn’t stop thinking about them- which speaks volumes to what i was really struggling with *cough– letting go -cough cough*. i recognized this and was done wasting my energy on this person, i was “letting it go“. with this new found freedom, i wanted a change, so i booked the next hair appointment i could get and said BUH-BYE to the previous drama that was weighing me down.

i wish it didn’t sound so cliché to say how good it feels to cut off all of your hair but DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO CUT OFF ALL OF YOUR HAIR! a fresh start and a fresh state of mind. a haircut won’t fix all of your problems but it can be a good place to start!