Month: May 2019

PLAYLIST NO. 5: “CRY BABY CRY”

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Monterey, California / 3-24-2019 / 35mm Pentax

THIS IS NOT A BREAKUP PLAYLIST! well, it can be if you want it to be, music is subjective and impacts everyone differently but that is not what it was intended to be. i’m a crier; i cry when i’m happy, sad, angry, inspired…i’m big into crying as a way to express myself but not all of these songs are “sad songs“. some of these songs are about love and life and expression. i find some of the lyrics in these songs to be so moving and beautiful that i can’t help but (you guessed it) cry. so, if you need a good cry, listen to this playlist.

you can cry to my playlist here.

  1. “orange” – big thief
  2. “chelsea” – phoebe bridgers
  3. “i saw you in a dream” – the japanese house
  4. “oblivions” – the national
  5. “geyser” – mitski
  6. “the joke” – brandi carlile
  7. “don’t know how to keep loving you” – julia jacklin
  8. “plastic” – moses sumney
  9. “version of me” – kimbra, dawn richard
  10. “say it” – maggie rogers
  11. “the dirt” – tor miller
  12. “since i left you” – joy crookes
  13. “body” – karen o

WHY DOES CUTTING OFF ALL OF YOUR HAIR FEEL SO DAMN GOOD?

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why does cutting off all of your hair feel so damn good? speaking from personal experience, i just recently took off 12 inches. the last time i had short hair was when i was a kid. my brother was blowing bubbles and accidentally spit his gum into my hair, so my dad cut it out and cut it (my hair) off. my dad, Bob, coincidentally was responsible for giving me my first “bob“! isn’t that cute?

everyone has their reasons for why they’re making the drastic cut; reeling from heartbreak, feeling misunderstood, protecting your family’s honor and saving your country. for me it was a fresh start. for some time now i had been in an unhealthy headspace. i was feeling lost, frustrated and uninspired which prevented me from wanting to go out or even confiding in anyone who tried to reach out (sorry Mom). i was not myself, my ego was fragile and my self-esteem bruised. when i thought i was starting to feel “okay” again, i had a meltdown. it happens to the best of us, right? some experience it in the privacy of their own home and some (me) experience it in the middle of a live show while at work… someone had made me feel small and that was enough to derail any sense of composure or rationality, so i cried wept. this person didn’t even KNOW me and they managed to make me feel smaller than i know myself to be.

all my insecurities were re-awakened. in the most random (and inconvenient) times, i would think about this person who made me feel small and it would make me tear up in anger. i was angry at this person for making me feel this way and angry at myself for allowing them to do so… so i sulked and i sulked HARD. i’d sit in my room feeling sorry for myself and do nothing about it. it’s hard to pull yourself out of that headspace when you aren’t fully aware that you’re in it (ain’t hindsight a bitch?!). this person probably didn’t spend another moment thinking about me (dick) but i couldn’t stop thinking about them- which speaks volumes to what i was really struggling with *cough– letting go -cough cough*. i recognized this and was done wasting my energy on this person, i was “letting it go“. with this new found freedom, i wanted a change, so i booked the next hair appointment i could get and said BUH-BYE to the previous drama that was weighing me down.

i wish it didn’t sound so cliché to say how good it feels to cut off all of your hair but DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO CUT OFF ALL OF YOUR HAIR! a fresh start and a fresh state of mind. a haircut won’t fix all of your problems but it can be a good place to start!